I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
