I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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