Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize