Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
