erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize