Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
