We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
