you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
