tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
nutella sex= disaster
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
