this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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