dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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