I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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