You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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