If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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