his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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