I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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