i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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