remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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