I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
