I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
