Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
