Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
