im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
