I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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