yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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