I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
