I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
