I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
