If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
