Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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