i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We're too hungover to prance.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
