hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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