i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
