I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
