yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
