just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We don't watch enough power rangers
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
