She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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