He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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