cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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