You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize