I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
