Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
