This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
