in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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