Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
