you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
