so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
