ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize