I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
