How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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