I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
...so i touched it.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
