so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
