i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
