i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
