You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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