she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
