Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
