I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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